The previews are my favorite part ...

So if your life was a movie- would you want to see the trailer?

It doesn't tell you how it ends- but it

would give you little hints about the story and how it plays out.

I would SO watch.

No surprise there.

The 20 year old me would be scared to death of todays scene of me holding down my screaming 2 year old at the beginning of his haircut.

But the 26 year old infertile me would have been delighted to see me and Eli in the mirror today... Laughing hysterically at his bright blue sucker tongue. 

 

The harder he laughed the harder I laughed. Or Sammy in the tub last night, giggling little giggles for the first time.

I want to see a scene from 10 years from now. If there is a little sister?? If Eli is still picking on Sam. How long do I have to work full time?? Are my boys in catholic school?

I wish my life had a trailer.

How else do I get all the answers?

Infertility definitely changed me as a person. As well as post partum depression. I think I appreciate what I have more than the 20 year old me would have. Even the 25 year old me. Years of wanting THIS very life for so long makes me love it -- even when it is really lots lots harder than we were prepared for. Mike and I are learning as we go - and definitely having to do some juggling and adjusting and learning from mistakes. I laugh at us when I remember that we thought having just Eli was hectic. We didn't know what hectic was then.

From the minute our eyes open in the morning until we go to sleep that night... There is ALways something that needs done. (at least we sleep at night usually. Trust me, I am thankful for that)!
Look who's sleeping so good in their crib...

But just when the stress starts to get to me... Eli comes in with some comic relief. Tonight I told him to go get his shoes because we were going to get his haircut. He ran out of the room, but then ran back -- to quickly tell me "dey wight up mommy". (his shoes)

When we pulled into the parking lot of great clips -- he said "oh boy we're here!!! TARGET!!!" (maybe we go there too much?)

he was also screaming when the girl was trying to cut his hair. She offered him a yellow sucker, and in between sobs and snot and red face ... He said "have blue sucker?"

I love my little boy. All my boys. I love my life right now -- my crazy beautiful life.

If I could just slllooooww it down. And maybe see my husband?