mine would be you

What's your all time high, your good as it gets?

What's your guilty pleasure, your old go to?
Well if you asked me, mine would be you.

What's the greatest chapter in your book?
Are there pages where it hurts to look?

Mine would be you

Sun keeps shining, back road flying
Singing like crazy fools
Making up our own words
Laughing 'til it hurts

Baby, if I had to choose
My best day ever
My finest hour, my wildest dream come true
Mine would be you

sometimes a good country song can sum it all up when you just can't put words to how you are feeling.

life is hard.

it's messy and complicated and imperfect.

you dream your whole life of a fairy tale that you hope to come true. 

the perfect husband, the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect blue eyed blonde haired babies. 

you dream of perfect in-laws with perfect friendships and you all stand around hugging and laughing and drinking wine on a perfect fall evening.

(oh, and you have a perfect hair day. every day.)

add pinterest to that mix, and now you have a new kind of pressure to have a special fall-ish recipe to serve in a special fall themed dish, with wine glasses painted in chalkboard paint so everyone can write their name on their glass in chalk.

oh, and the perfect children are doing fall themed arts and crafts in coordinating fall earthtone outfits.

while taking pictures of it all for your blog.

and facebook.

and instagram.

ha.

so what i'm thinking about tonight is that life is not a fairy tale everyday. or any day really. and i am guilty of finding the fairy tale moments of my week and posting about them on my blog. or on instagram. or wherever.

but pictures are just still moments. they don't really capture the true story. 

and you know me, and i like honest. 

i also like pinterest, but come on...

i work full time. mike works full time. we have 2 kids 3 and under. we are busy.

i would LOVE to have pinterest inspired recipes and cook outs all the time, and painted wine glasses, drinking with my friends and family. 

right now i would settle for a dixie cup full of beer with my husband. 

WE are the last thing to get attention at the end of the day when there is so much busy-ness.

so we bicker.

that does not seem fairy tale-ish. that seems messy. 

----What's the greatest chapter in your book?

we are high school sweethearts who made it through the odds and got married and had children.

----Are there pages where it hurts to look?

then we were dealt with infertility and post-partum depression.

that seems imperfect and messy and just plain shitty if you ask me. 

BUT...

ask around. 

Someone always has it worse than you do.

Everytime I turn around someone is dying of cancer. 

someone lost their loved one in a motorcycle accident.

someone's only daughter is fighting drug addiction & hurting everyone around her. 

someone lost a baby, is going through a divorce.

i could go on forever. 

it would be easy to say life is unfair when you see so much sadness going on. 

it IS hard to understand sometimes.

But through all the complicated messiness that is NO fairy tale, you still have to think...

What's your all time high, your good as it gets?

we are pretty dang lucky. 

the things that we look at as HARD right now... really aren't THAT hard.

our life is busy, but not HARD.

Our life is real.

and who really needs that fairy tale anyway?

that's not real life. 

real life is finding poop on your arm (and shirt, and legs) when you don't know how it got there.

real life is when your husband has to look at you and still like you when you haven't showered in going on 48 hours. 

real life is arguing over if the kids should be allowed to eat snacks in the living room.

real life is wanting to beat your children one minute, and then the next they do something so incredibly cute that you forget all the other stuff.

real life is temper tantrums from kids and the adults. 

real life is arguing about spending money on ANOTHER pair of shoes. 

real life is a 3 year old that HAS TO open and close EVERY door himself. Turn on every light himself, but won't feed himself.

this is OUR real life. 

it is so messy. 

most days i can't catch my breath, find my keys, i spill my coffee.

i fall asleep on the couch, i forget to tell mike very important information until 5 minutes AFTER he needed to know the very important information.

 this is OUR very complicated fairy tale. 

The FOUR of us.

Mike, Eli, Sam, and I.

I can't imagine this life with anyone else.

I still like good hair days every now and then, and i give it my all pinning things on pinterest that i will never actually do...

but i have good intentions.

I want this blog to be real life, not just the highlights that seem wonderful and fun and amazing and perfect.

i want this blog to be messy too.

 kids that won't cooperate

eli "holding sammy's hand" (he said he was trying to pull sammy's arm off if you want the truth.)

papa's 63rd birthday this weekend. 

eli was scared of the candles. for real. the candles. I don't know?

the highlights of this past week:

- anna took her first steps... TO ME!

-eli told sammy he loved him.

-a new hair cut
-akron zoo with my mom and the boys

-earlier bedtimes which means TIME for mike and i together

-blizzards with my mother in law

-seeing ALL my brothers this weekend

i really don't even know if i got my point across, because i am not a writer.
but i am done worrying about life being perfect.
it's not and i think now i have accepted that.
so here's to more real life with the almost perfect husband that i have been given, that loves to push my buttons.
i love you, even though sometimes i don't like you.
here's to 50 + more years in our almost perfect house.
i hope we can landscape and get a driveway before 2063.
but most of all, here's to enjoying our PERFECT  blue eyed blonde haired boys that we came together and did everything in our power to bring them into this world.
THEY are PERFECT.
messy, crazy, but perfect.

My best day ever
My finest hour, my wildest dream come true
Mine would be you