9

To my Sammy Sam,

You turned 9 months old today.

9 months.

The same time it took to cook you inside my belly.

But you were cooking me, remember? This time last year we were having a heat wave in march and I was afraid I would have to stay indoors until June.

I have to say I don't like pregnancy. There is a fun time where you take the pregnancy test and it comes out positive and you get to tell everyone and see the look on their face. THAT is fun!!! Finding out that you were a little boy instead of an "it", a thing, a baby. You became Sam and part of us. You became real. I loved feeling you move when you still had plenty of open space to swim around in. THAT was as close to magical as it gets. But after that you just get bigger and the place gets crowded and it's just a big hot mess for everyone. It's no secret, your mama does not do pregnancy well.

But these LAST 9 months?! With you here on the OUTside Sammy Sam? ... Bliss. 9 months ago today I fell HARD for your sweet little face. They swept you away to the nicu after I had only got to kiss your little tiny nose. But I already loved you with a love I worried would not come. A love that was all taken up by Eli.

But it IS true what they say. The love multiples. Like the grinch (oh and that I WAS during pregnancy) -- my heart grew 6 sizes that day 9 months ago.

Sammy...I can't imagine life without you here. You are so perfect. And perfect for us. Xoxo

Now just learn how to crawl. Or atleast pull yourself up so you can occupy yourself. :) I LOVE YOU!!