may 13

 it's crazy that anybody can be a parent. you have ONE sperm, ONE egg... you give birth, and they send you home with this baby and you are just supposed to raise him to be a decent human being. You have 18 years to prepare him for the real world; to teach him to be kind, and compassionate, and brave, and grateful and tough, and smart, and polite. . . etc.

 mike and i want eli to be the best that he can be at everything, and to know that he has two parents that love him very much. but somedays we just want him to NOT poop his pants. some days it is very hard to see the BIG picture, when the small picture just plays on repeat day after day.  

  it's been 3 weeks away from the blog on purpose, because it is hard to write about what's going on in our life when it feels like I have no idea what I'm doing.  Eli is a typical 3 year old, with a double (or triple) side of stubbornness and a double (or triple) side of orneriness. Sometimes it is hard to know what to do with him to get him to follow the "rules" . . .because it is programmed in his DNA to want to be in control of every situation . . . hence the pooping of the pants day in and day out.

 i think overall we are good parents, because we LOVE our boys, and that is what is most important.  But when you have yourself a little Eli, you begin to doubt yourself and your parenting style. You doubt your discipline strategy, you doubt your abilities all together.

 but the past 3 weeks have brought noticeable changes. Sammy is talking, and talking a lot. Eli can now relate to Sammy on a whole other level now, and they seem to be ... dare i say? ... friends. Mike came up with a whole new system of "sharing" the cars/trucks... and the boys seem to be sharing a lot better now. Eli is nearing his 4th birthday...so maybe the terrible 3's are on their way OUT... because my sweet little boy is coming around a lot more often. He helps Sam out (a little boost up on the couch), teaches him things (sammy, this car is RED), and he wants our praise more than anything. This whole time we have been punishing him for bad behavior, when all  he wanted was to be praised for the good behavior.

So like i said before... where was the manual explaining HOW to do this when he was born?! There should at least be a CLASS on raising a 3 year old, optional OR mandatory. Because how are you supposed to know this stuff?!

We visited the pediatrician and got some advice on the #2 in the potty problem... which is stillllllll a work in progress.

sammy may or may not be fully potty trained first.  

and we will just continue to do the best that we know how to do. there are definitely the days that you just want to make it til bathtime cuz bedtime follows! and then there are the days that everyone listens and everyone plays nice and mondays (day of the week) underwear are still on and dry at the end of monday evening. and you think for a minute, "i got this."

But the truth is, nobody really has "got this." We are all just doing the best we know how. And most of the time... this too shall pass.